Monday, August 23, 2004

I Have Found Heaven...

And its name is Hershey, Pennsylvania.

I decided to take a break and travel with the loved ones to Hershey Park. As I am a spoiled princess we would either stay at the Marriott or Hilton, I have long ago given up Econolodge's and Red Roof Inn's, because.. Well I'm spoiled.

So we decided on packing up the SUV and plant ourselves at the Harrisburg Hilton, which is about 20 miles outside of Hershey Park, for the next 3 days.

My first thoughts of Harrisburg, which for the people that were not good at naming the state capitals in grammar school, Is in fact the state capital of Pennsylvania. My first thoughts were, damn this town is small. The entire city is about 12 blocks long and 12 blocks wide. Nothing impressive, some Government building, some worker bee buildings an arts center which was showing NASCAR in IMAX (more on that later) and the rest of the town is assorted shops and sundries.

After our arrival we decided to take a walk and explore Harrisburg, It shouldn't take long the whole town is about the size of Sheepshead Bay in Brooklyn. Consulting a map we decided to make our way towards the "riverfront" I put riverfront is quotes because to my surprise its a riverfront. When I think riverfront I think an esplanade with shops and restaurants, not a "well the town ends here... by the river."

We have come to the conclusion that there is no food to be had at the riverfront, so we make our way toward the main strip to find a place to eat, after allot of hemming and hawing the family decides on "The Gingerbread Man." this place is a kind of half sports bar half college crowd hangout but they had cheap burgers and I could have a cocktail.

The 3 words I thought I would never hear again...

"Smoking or Non-smoking." Ever since our wonderful New York politicians decided that smoking is bad for me and the people around me and the people around them. I have been cast aside to the great outdoors when I want a smoke.

In my eyes smoking and drinking go together, and I drink allot (mostly to forget) so to now make me get up off my ass and go outside has put somewhat of a damper on my going out activities. I would say instead of going out 2 times a week, I now go out about once a month and it’s all because I can't smoke.

Smoking indoors, go figure. You don't know how much I miss smoking and drinking and sitting with other smokers who are also enjoying smoking and drinking.

Have you ever noticed the smoking section of a restaurant is always a little more boisterous than the rest of the place; smokers seem to always have more fun. Maybe because we all know that our lives are being cut short with every smooth flavorful drag of our tobacco product.

Well burgers, beer, cigs and a $30.00 dollar bill capped off a nice relaxing dinner, now to get some sleep to enjoy Hershey Park.

We arrive at Hershey at 10 am on Saturday, just around opening time and the weather looks rather threatening. All I want to do is to ride the 6 stupid roller coasters and grab a 5 pound bag of chocolate, and be left to my own devices.

Just as we are about to queue up for the first ride, rain, not allot just a drip. drip.. Well it was enough to shut the roller coaster down.

The more we walked the more it rained; it was like Forrest Gump in Nam'. Little itty-bitty rain, big ole fat rain, hard stinging rain.

I refused to give up, I told my family I am going to seek the adrenalin rush of a loop-de-loop even if it means flipping over the car on route 83.

It was now 2'oclock and I have a rather moist family to contend with, a family that was not sharing the same adventure seeking adrenalin rush I was.

After some begging and pleading and threats to withhold sex, I decided that maybe we should go, but not before I get my money back.

We made our way to Guest Services, and pleaded our case; I think one look at the wet drippy mess that was my family made the lady behind the counter feel sorry for us. She gave us passes for the whole family to return next year and that worked for me.

What to do in the rain...

Take the family to see NASCAR in IMAX-3D. The man in charge of the IMAX was totally OCD'ed out. Don't touch the blue ribbon; don't take the 3-D glasses until we enter the theater. For every one of us that didn't follow his instructions you know he was banging the side of his head, counting to three and making certain that the blue ropes matched up perfectly with the blue dots on the carpet.

Know why I love my family, because we can all make fun of the mentally handicapped without getting caught in this P.C. bullshit, because what ever happened to, “He is just fucking crazy” we have to give a name to everything nowadays, but you can’t just be crazy anymore.

So the family had fun at the IMAX, we ate more, I drank and smoked more, I chalk this up to a successful outing, because even though it rained for 3 days straight, I was able to smoke indoors and that’s all that really matters.


  • Home Page
  • Google