Friday, August 13, 2004

My Life As A Volunteer For The RNC.

Before I begin I want to thank Patton from Opinion8 for adding me to his blogroll, that makes 2 for the people keeping track at home.

Update: I also want to thank John at TexasBestGrok for not only including me on his blogroll but pointing out to his readers that I have somewhat of a potty mouth.
ps. John and others, if you would like to include me in your blogroll please do, but drop me a note so I can return the favor.

Update: And a big thanks to Michelle at Asmallvictory for adding me to her blogroll, reading her wonderfull musings for the last few months was my inspiration for starting this blog in the first place.

I woke up this morning to "Got It Made" by Seether and now I can't get this song out of my fucking head.

Cablevision sucks ass, 3 of my favorite shows, "The Shield", "Nip and Tuck" and "Rescue me" are on the FX network, but do I get the FX network... Noooooo. What do I get, 8 HBO's that show either "The Karate Kid" or "The Substitute" a bunch of shopping channels and thousands of Spanish language stations. Look, I love, "Sabado' Gigante" just as much as the next person but come on throw me a fucking bone... I WANT MY FX.

Last night I spent the evening at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, in New York. Going through my "training" sessions as a volunteer for the Republican National Convention, which as everyone knows takes place in, "The Worlds Most Famous Arena", Madison Square Garden.

I assumed we were going to be given job assignments and I was rather disappointed to find out that being in charge of the , "High Pressure Water Hose," and "German Shepard Attack Dogs" were not on the list. Job assignments are not final, but there is a good chance I will be doing the airport meet and greet thing. I will keep you posted and if anyone who reads this is a delegate pop me an email.

I have to give the people that ran this volunteer recruiting effort thing a lot of credit. I think they are a close second to the German's in record keeping, they were totally organized on the ball and on top of things considering there were 17 thousand applicants. Not only did they have to assign us various tasks they also have to weed out the trouble makers. As I scope around the room it looks to me they did a good job, the place is filled up with Wall Streeters in suits, soccer moms and a hand full of college students.

As part of our training we, get this, were taught how to be nice. Yes, I shit you not, we took lessons on how to smile and make eye contact and how to not invade someone's personal space and to ask polite questions. Apparently people in the rest of America have this predetermined notion that New Yorker's are rude and crass. Fuck that shit we are the most friendliest mother fuckers you will ever find and don't you forget that you jerk offs.

I am actually looking forward to putting on my "smiley" face and showing some of the Republican delegates that New York isn't all jag-off activists and crack whores.

Update: And then there was 3... As I commented on last week celebrity deaths happen in three's so I give to you, number 3 .

I will be back later with more news from Iraq or New Jersey


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