Sunday, August 08, 2004

Queer Eye For The Al-Qaeda Guy

Yes, they are animals bent on the destruction of the free world and yes they are terrorist scumbags that need to be exterminated, but as Michelle Malkin and the Atlantic Online *registration required, buncha hard-ons* has shown us. A well dressed terrorist gets the 72 virgins in the afterlife.

"Underwear should be the normal type that people wear, not anything that shows you're a fundamentalist."

Ok.. I know tighty whities, and boxers. What the hell is fundamentalist underwear? Can you picture Mohammed stripping down, wearing a pair of skidmarked Fruit-Of-The-Looms and how can you tell if he is wearing terrorist underwear.
Well besides having his name written in them with a Sharpie, they will say something like. "72 virgins enter here" through the flap in the front.
Don't wear short pants that show socks when you're standing up. the pants should cover the socks, because intelligence authorities know that fundamentalists don't wear long pants.

So we now know that terrorists prefer capri's when they are not plotting on the destruction of America.

You should differentiate between men's and women's perfume. If you use women's perfume, you are in trouble.

Maybe they should shop here, where everything is broken down by gender. Rule number one, if your gonna take down a target you don't want to be wearing "Diamonds, By Elizabeth Taylor."

Terrorist before makeover

And After, notice the carefull placement of the normal type of undewear.


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