Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Uproar over new JFK game

Because of the overwhelming response to the new JFK Reloaded game, where you are able to reenact the Kennedy assasanation through the eyes of Lee Harvey Oswald the game makers are currently programing some more Kennedy games for release.

The Ted Kennedy driving game
- You're Ted, you're hammered, you just dumped your car in lake Chappaquiddick. Do you save Mary Joe or go home and sleep it off... you decide.

The JFK Jr. flying game - You have limited flight training and poor visibility as an added surprise you have your bitching wife and her sister in the plane with you, do you try to make a safe landing at Martha's Vineyard or dump that puppy in the middle of the Atlantic.

The Michael Skakel golfing game
- You're in a tree mastubating and see your cute playmate Martha Moxely, use your golf club to commit a brutal rape and murder, then try to drop the Kennedy name to get off.

The Joe Kennedy Lobotomize your daughter game - You got the whole 'moonshine' thing cornered, now you have political ambitions, just one problem your slightly retarted daughter Rosemary. Try to have her lobotomy in Washington D.C and then wisk her away to Wisconsin without anyone noticing.

The William Kennedy Smith game - After you have completed the Ted Kennedy game you get the bonus William Kennedy Smith game, you're drinking it up in with uncle Teddy in Palm Beach, meet the girl, rape her on the beach, get the major media outlets to name her and discredit the victim. Extra bonus points if your uncle, walking around the compound in his underwear, catches you in the act.

The Joseph P. Kennedy WWII bomber game - Fly a cargo plane filled with explosives through hostile Germany, oh yeah your plane is on fire and you have only seconds to eject.

The Robert F. Kennedy nepotism game - Use your brothers connections to get a cushy Attorney General's job, piss off the mob, the Cubans, the Republicans and the Unions then try to run for president without Sirhan B. Sirhan noticing.

That whole fucking family is a disgrace.

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